Businesses that have longevity are well-run. They are constantly updating and growing because if they don’t, they won’t just be standing still, but will be going backward or worse - defunct. The same holds true for a loving relationship in your personal “business,” where you are a solid team. If your relationship is less than optimal, it’s time to take your cue from a well-run business.

For most of us relationships conjure up romance. Business and money matters smack of distaste and seem asexual in nature. However, if you want a monogamous relationship to go the distance, you have a lot to learn from strategies of the client-based business world.

Here’s what successful businesses do:

1. Focus on building and strengthening the bonds of your relationship. Businesses place value on more than a one-time-deal which seeks to get the best out of a client. Instead, they nurture a long term relationship with clients by focusing on their needs. What can you do for your significant other?
2. Develop listening skills and make this a top priority. Businesses evaluate: What are the problems, disappointments or the good things their customers are experiencing? Listening helps them achieve solutions to problems or strengthen what is already working. Ssh, without interrupting what surprising bit of information have you learned by truly listening and not merely waiting to speak?
3. Ask not what the consumer can do for you, but what you can do for the consumer; as a result, businesses will reap a whopping profit. Similarly, try to release the egocentric “I” voice in your relationship and replace it with the “we” mentality.
4. Make it a priority to keep the consumer interested. This means coming up with new ideas, experiences and dialogue to keep the client actively engaged in the relationship. Novelty does wonders for a long term romantic relationship; constant communication averts a simmering resentment due to self-suppression.
5. Keep your message short and sweet, the way businesses use public relations companies to brand themselves. Similarly, the person you live with should be able to identify you by a phrase known to only the two of you, a signature accessory, or a look in the eyes and vice versa.
6. Make sure to get your rhythm in sync. This means don’t pounce when you are all fired up. A successful manager asks a client, “Is this a good a time to speak?” Similarly, gauge your mate’s mood. Just because you are ready to speak does not mean they are ready to listen. And most importantly, don’t let a disagreement degenerate into a shouting match. Change the location like going to another “conference” room to change up the energy or revisit the discussion later when both of you are calmer.

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Debbie Mandel, MA is the author of Addicted to Stress: A Woman's 7 Step Program to Reclaim Joy and Spontaneity in Life, Changing Habits: The Caregivers' Total Workout and Turn On Your Inner Light: Fitness for Body, Mind and Soul, a stress-reduction specialist, motivational speaker, a personal trainer and mind/body lecturer. She is the host of the weekly Turn On Your Inner Light Show on WGBB AM1240 in New York City , produces a weekly wellness newsletter, and has been featured on radio/ TV and print media. To learn more visit: www.turnonyourinnerlight.com