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How to Help Your True Beauty Emerge

by Debbie Mandel

The other day while I was getting my hair cut, I overheard another client discussing a new look with her stylist. Her hairdresser asked what she had in mind and she explained that she didn’t know exactly what she wanted. He proceeded to get some magazines, flipped through them as she kept saying, “I don’t want this. No, I don’t like that. Not this, either.” This highlighted what I have been sensing for awhile. People know what they don’t want, but don’t know what they do want!

Not knowing what you want generates stress for yourself and others. You are relying on others to tell you, to hit on the right thing, to read your mind, to make you happy. However, no one can make you happy, but you. If you think that someone else can make you beautiful, when you see the results, you might still not be pleased. Instead you will focus on the flaws, the imperfections. That is why people, who undergo plastic surgery, might have many surgeries to tackle the next problem area. They are still not satisfied.

Beauty is in your hands. Happiness is in your hands. A professional is merely a facilitator as is a new outfit. True beauty means inner vitality and reflects the quality of your life. It emanates inside out. John Keats said, Truth is beauty and beauty is truth. We can go to the next level: Your inner truth is beautiful. Living the truth of who you are is gorgeous! Who says beauty is ephemeral?

Here’s how to transform your looks from within to achieve a long lasting beauty without:

  • Don’t force your beauty. Enhance it. Avoid harsh chemicals and treatments. Avoid drastic changes and a lot of makeup. Simplify with a more natural approach. Express who you are - not some artificial ideal. Don’t mask the real you.
  • Don’t deprive yourself of foods you crave to be thin. Don’t force yourself to exercise if you hate it. Instead eat a little of the forbidden foods to satisfy that craving. Find your joy in movement. It doesn’t have to be a gym; it could be a hike, gardening, a dance class or a sport. Enjoy your life and don’t obsess about your weight. When you stop obsessing, it will normalize.
  • Put your energy into achieving good health. When you are healthy, you look more youthful and act that way. Illness weighs you down and saps your energy.
  • Develop your creative energy. Enrich your looks with creativity and a passion for whatever you are doing. Don’t look to glamour magazines or artificial products to help you be better. Avoid magazines that give you a negative self image. Liberate yourself, so that you can express who you are without shame or fear. Cultivate your spirit with inspiration.
  • Beauty is linked to balance. Check if anything is out of balance in your life: food, hormones, exercise, work, or friendship. Restore that balance.
  • Avoid people who criticize you all the time, manipulate you or drain you. They will deplete you of your life force.
  • Think outside the box. Break the pattern of what you wear on your face and body. Change your colors. Try different things and spread your wings.
  • Don’t focus on avoiding the negative, like not wanting to be fat. Instead focus your attention on what you do want: to be fit, healthy and beautiful. Envision the successful outcome. Rehearse it in your mind. Then you will actualize it.

Become profoundly happy!

Debbie Mandel, MA is the author of Turn On Your Inner Light: Fitness for Body, Mind and Soul, a stress-reduction specialist, motivational speaker, a personal trainer and mind/body lecturer at Southampton College. She is the host of the weekly Turn On Your Inner Light Show on WHLI 1100AM in New York City , produces a weekly wellness newsletter, and has been featured on radio/ TV and print media. To learn more visit: